Do you have any quirky habits, or strange practices that you wouldn’t want other people seeing? A certain behaviour which you don’t feel comfortable sharing with anyone else because you’re scared they might start defining you through it or making partial judgements?
Most of my quirky habits come into play around night-time. It’s more of a bed-time routine than anything else; just to ensure maximum head to pillow action. The door to my *ensuite bathroom has to be securely shut (we don’t want it mysteriously opened by a ghost in the middle of the night); each drawer in my chest of drawers must be firmly closed (clowns popping out etc.); wardrobe must be shut (the inside mirror might reflect the monsters hiding amongst the clothes); the curtains must fully cover the windows (there may be some savage creature hiding, or a bat trying to enter); the light in the hallway must be switched off (dark shadows of the Grinch might appear on my ceiling); and lastly, the pillow and bed are searched for spiders (they might crawl into my mouth as I sleep). Then, finally, I’m ready to begin my journey into slumber.
Now all this might sound a bit dramatic and childish. I mean, when was the last time you caught sight of a clown in the corner of your room? Or a giant possum hanging over your bed? I know we’ve all been watching way too much Doctor Who recently so I hate to burst your bubble: Daleks do not exist. Although I once endured a restless night, unaided by the fluttering of something in my hair. I turned the light on, and lo and behold, I found a giant black beetle jumping in and out of my pillow case, sprinting across the bedstead and crawling down the back of the mattress. Forgive me for sounding crass, but I hope the nasty ‘bugger’ (#wordplay) suffocated. I mean…there’s a time and a place for jumping into bed with someone.
Watch this space.
*sounds lush I know, but I commandeered the guest room when my parents had baby number 4, so while the room is spacious and has plenty of perks, the décor is better left unspoken for.