Sagging Bottoms

I just read an article on Yahoo entitled “Women in their 20s need to start fighting wrinkles”.  There was no advice as such for getting rid of said wrinkles (Yahoo, as ever the title grabber, but never the content giver), but instead a rather extensive 20 point list of things I have to look forward to in the future.  I’d just like to point out that this had nothing to do with me being paranoid about getting wrinkles as early as 21.  This had to do with me logging into my yahoo mail box and being thrown totally off guard by the closeness of the two words “wrinkles” and “20s”.  Also “fighting wrinkles” is a bit misleading.  I mean, what does this involve?  Smacking yourself in the face every time it looks like you’re about to get a smile line?   

Guess that Darth Vadar mask I mentioned in my previous post wouldn’t go amiss:

1. Getting wrinkles
2. Sagging face
3. Sagging boobs
4. Facial hair
5. Going grey
6. Middle aged spread
7. Wrinkly cleavage
8. Thinning hair
9. Sagging bottom
10. Bingo wings
11. Wrinkly hands
12. Getting a double chin
13. Thread veins
14. Getting crow’s feet
15. Receding gums
16. Getting age spots on hands
17. Thinning lips
18. Receding hair line
19. Bigger moles
20. Bigger ears

I’m nearing on 21 and thankfully, I’m not aware of any of these symptoms just yet.  In my very youthful naivety I did have to quickly Google “crow’s feet”.  I also hope my bottom doesn’t start sagging anytime soon.  And by sagging, I don’t mean *accidentally* showing my panties because my trousers are a size too big.  Boys, take note.  Essentially, the day I need upholstery for my dèrriere is the day I’ll start worrying about wrinkles.  But for now, I’ll enjoy being youthful. 

Watch this space.

Montana