As I write this, all I can see are mosquitos. The hot air has brought in a new wave of blood-sucking vermin; the majority of which are now conveniently squished across my computer screen given that my monitor seems to be the only thing in a 100 mile radius emitting light. I should really make sure I remember to wash my hands in the morning before I tuck into breakfast unless I want to eat dead mosquito particles. Sounds like something you’d find on a menu in a Michelin star restaurant….or India. I hope one day they invent laptops with mosquito-electrifying equipment. So when they land on the screen they’re automatically frazzled at a high-intensity voltage. What makes me laugh as well is that they just don’t learn. Do they not recognise the remains of their ancestors who have been so brutally murdered right before their eyes by a rather large thumb? Apparently not.
OK, so the light is going on. I’ve had enough mosquitos crowding around me for one night. My ego was getting a little big for a second. Damn. There’s a spider on the ceiling. I’m starting to think that my room is becoming a social hub for pest activity. And they say you consume 8 spiders during your lifetime. Or was it a year? How they can scientifically prove this, I have no idea. I do wonder if this spider realises that it’s actually crawling upside down? Does gravity not affect them? Yes, keep walking little fella, away from my bed. But you know what’s scarier than seeing a spider on your ceiling? Looking up and finding that the spider is no longer on your ceiling. As much as I’d like to fantasise that the spider has been sucked into a vortex or jumped to its death, I’m thinking somewhere along the line he or she has spun a web to continue its journey home. Let’s just say I won’t be stopping by for tea.
Watch this space.